And that's how Harry got rid of Volemort
by jeanette9a
Summary: My creative insane and horrendous take on how Harry was going to get rid of old Voldy. There is a good reason why this is rated M. now let me and my Muse Alice Yume take you on an insane ride. warnings inside.


**A/N this is a crack fic, this was made purely because of entertainment reasons and for my muse Alice Yume to stop poking me to write it. So I don't own it. Yes that song and version is available on youtube.**

**Warning: language, sexual pictures, mind rape, mentions of suicide and all out crazy teenager.**

**And all you Harry Potter lovers, don't worry, Harry will be fine. Voldemort however is another story entirely.**

Harry was sitting in the great hall banging his head to the music blaring from his head phones. He was out early to breakfast and he had managed to find a way to use magic instead of electricity. He figured since they both won't work at the same place, with each other that they both had to have some of the same properties. Positives and negatives attract but positive and positive repels, and there from sprang the idea.

So instead of pulling the electrons in electricity through the cables, he decided to use small sparks of magic. Not only did it work he never had to charge the battery in a plug because of all the magic in the air, but he could charge it himself if he wanted to.

Ron had managed to get out of bed only because Harry had said he wanted to tell him something important. So there he ended up standing a few feet away from Harry looking at him in astonishment, before he managed to ask." Mate what are you doing?"

Harry took out one of his plugs while saying:" I'm listening to music." He handed one of the plugs to Ron. Ron reluctantly put it in his ear and out of the plug came the most horrible noise Ron ever heard.

Ron quickly removed it. "What in bloody hell was that mate!"

Harry just looked at him for a second than said. "Dubstep."

Ron rubbed his ears and asked: "why would you listen to it?"

Harry smiles now a true smile:" I like it and it annoys Tommy."

"Tom who?" Ron asked confused.

Harry rolled his eyes but answers: "Voldemort."

Ron shivered a little. "Why would you annoy the one who shouldn't be named? He could kill more people because of it!" he said in a panic.

"Well first I was trying to learn occlumency with Snap. But it didn't go so well, I think he has problems sleeping. He never got over that one memory I had with uncle Vernon in the shower, oh well.

And Voldy, he can't kill anybody or plan or giving orders if he is distracted." He said in a giggling tone.

Ron looks a bit freaked. "Do I even want to know what you are doing mate?"

"That's simple Ron." Harry says with glee. He looks at the clock.

"Oh look there it has been 48 hours."

Ron now really scared for his friends mental health asks:" 48 hours of what."

Harry now grins like the Cheshire cat. "Since I slept and since I started mind raping Old Voldy back."

"Oh bloody hell mate, Are you insane!" Ron exclaims.

Harry just laughs and says:" Perhaps a little crazy but not insane. If I don't sleep for the next month, Tom is so gonna give up on his immortality gig and try suicide, HAHAHA!"

"Okay Harry. I'm just going to see how Dumbledore is feeling this morning okay." Harry nodded to him and Ron fled out of there like a bat out of hell.

_Meanwhile in the lair of the evil Voldemort. _

The dark lord mumbled make it stop, make it stop. He figured this was worse than the Cruciatus curse, and Avada Kedavra would have been a blessing by now.

Harry had now started to listen to a dubstep version of: 'You and Me Baby Aint Nothing but mammals.'

And what Tommy saw would make anyone cry. Let's just say Harry had made a horrifically wonderful music video with uncle Vernon dancing and singing in the shower, with all kind of psychedelic colors shapes and creatures as extra effects. And he had been entertaining the dark lord nonstop with this kind of torture for 48 hours strait now.

_Ron and Dumbledore. _

Ron had told Dumbledore about Harry and Dumbledore had promised to see if he could help Harry.

Dumbledore tried to use occlumency to get in to Harry's brain. Dumbledore quickly did a U-turn and got the hell outa there.

He looked at Ron and said: "let us never speak of this again."


End file.
